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Blog » April 2013 » An Unhappy Marriage Equals An Unhappy Life!

April 2013

An Unhappy Marriage Equals An Unhappy Life!

 An unhappy marriage equals an unhappy life!

© 2013 Phoebe Hutchison Author / Counsellor
If your relationship is a struggle, you will generally feel an imbalance in your life, increased stress and worry, bitterness, anger and disappointment with yourself and your spouse. True and lasting happiness will seem a thing of the past. When your relationship is working well; when you feel supported and loved, when there is less conflict, more teamwork and mutual respect, this positivity filters through to your work habits, relationships with your children, partner. 
Having an awesome romantic relationship is the cornerstone to a joy filled and productive life. Having a meaningful relationship is great for your self-esteem, confidence, and peace of mind…making you a more productive worker, parent or boss. So what do you do when the cracks appear?  What do you do when you simply can’t figure out how to become close to your spouse again? Well, you need to make a change; you need to find a better strategy. Let’s face it. You are most likely using one of two strategies: The strategy your parents modelled, or an adaptation of this - likely doing the opposite. 
Are you trying new things, but still angry over the past? Are you living together, but emotionally miles apart? Has the passion gone, or do you simply feel controlled? Why not admit defeat? Couples simply get into bad habits. Have you stopped talking, connecting, and feel glad that you no longer argue? (Many couples believe that arguments are best avoided, but this only leads to resentful, passionless, marriages). Arguing is vital - but you need to know how! 
What if you are brilliant at work, then criticised or under-appreciated at home? Your education, your work training, usually does not equip you with all the skills required in order to be successful with your spouse. You may need insights...You may need a strategy!  Let an expert help! A good marriage counsellor is trained to help you by looking at your relationship from a different perspective, asking lots of questions, finding the issues you know about, then uncovering the unhelpful behaviour patterns you may not be aware of. They will also give you homework…new, helpful strategies, so you can make the positive changes, right away. 
You deserve to achieve your goals of happiness in your relationship and your life. I work as a relationship and crisis counsellor in Bairnsdale, and I use counselling therapies and strategies from my first book, Honeymooners Forever, Twelve Step Marriage Survival Guide, to help couples and individuals have their best possible relationship! Be assertive, ensure you needs are met, enjoy 30 minutes a day quality time together, and argue well! Having a strategy helps ensure that you stay connected. Feel free to use these steps to enrich your marriage, from this moment on...
Step 1.   Treat your partner like a lover
Step 2.   Be yourself and let your partner be themself
Step 3.   Communicate well every day
Step 4.   Invest time & money in your relationship
Step 5.   Stop finding fault and start praising
Step 6.   Plan the romance
Step 7.   Restore the passion
Step 8.   How to avoid or survive an affair
Step 9.   Children should enhance your marriage, not destroy it
Step 10. Argue effectively
Step 11. Improve your financial situation
Step 12. Avoid and survive everything else
May your love for yourself, and your life, deepen daily. 
Phoebe Hutchison, Dip Couns MACA, Maj. (Relationships and Conflict Resolution, Child Development and Effective Parenting, Grief and Loss). Bairnsdale Natural Health.
Bookings: (03) 5153 1679. www.honeymoonersforever.com.au 
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