An awesome marriage is about two people getting what they want - so start being selfish!
In my sessions with couples, I usually see two common things:
The couple needs a better:
A. Argument strategy and ...
B. A better way to communicate.
Well, this blog is not about arguing, NO, let's talk about communication.
What goes wrong in a marraige? Well, he stops talking, she stops asking for what she needs, she crosses her legs as the resentment builds, because she is not gettting what she needs...Then the accusations fly, as both couples talk using that bad YOU word. 'You never take me out'. 'You never listen to me'. 'You don't care about me anymore'. 'You don't make me happy anymore'. 'You never want sex anymore.'
I say, let's turn this crazy talk around - RIGHT NOW...
Stop saying YOU!
Start saying I!
'I am feeling lonely'. 'I need more hugs.' 'I want to make love.' 'I need to be able to have hobbies'. 'I need space'. 'I feel sad.'
HERE IT IS....MAGIC!!!
I NEED
I WANT
I FEEL
I AM
I WANT
Try it out, and let me know how you go. I love this. Why? Well, if you are talking from an 'i' perspective, you are not accusing your partner - you are taking responsibility for your feelings / needs / desires, so it should not cause a rift between you both.
Also, it helps you to become more focused on getting what you want. And whay shouldn't you? Marriage is meant to be FUN!!!
Get the most out of your relationship today - be selfish!